A Recipe for Disaster?

If you were familiar with the conservative suburb in which I currently reside, it would come as no surprise that I place myself in the minority of my demographic population with my liberal religious views. When religion is being discussed within my peer group I rarely share my beliefs and often shake my head. Wishing to cultivate fair, open-minded individuals, raising children in the bible belt is...well, frustrating to say the least. Fundamentalists surely think that a house with no God is synonymous with a house of Hell. Well, I am here to give you the inside scoop on this "House of Hell" and the lessons I try to impress upon my children.

I myself regard spirituality to be a very personal choice. In our home, atheism is not discussed, let alone taught. If anything, I have done little more than introduce the idea of agnosticism, for the truth of the matter is that no body, regardless of age, rank or education can prove or dispute with certainty the existence of a supernatural being . I therefore aim to expose my children's sponge-like minds to a variety of things by teaching them about religious and cultural tolerance so that they will grow into open-minded individuals. In order to make informed decisions, people need to be enlightened, not preached to. One of the principal reasons I discarded Christianity is it's propensity to blindly influence its followers; considering this, I am certainly not going to engage in mind-control by forcing my personal beliefs onto my children's developing attitudes.

I don't say this to be boastful, but my children are extraordinarily intelligent. It may not be a direct result of my parenting, but it does lend to the fact that it's impossible to endorse a line of bull when I want to, let alone when my heart is not in it! When they have questions, I give them honest, unbiased answers. In giving a truthful response, one can only present something as absolute if there is factual evidence to support the claim. The bible, by itself, does not qualify as evidence. My son has wanted to know the origins of humanity since he was three years old. A friend of mine was actually dismayed when learning that I had answered his inquiry scientifically by explaining the process of evolution (as much as one can to a 3 yr old). “Shame on you! You taught him evolution?” she scolded. My response to such thoughtlessness is this: Why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't any parent who wants to foster an informed and educated child? For if we are comfortable passing on fables as truth, we could, alternatively, just teach our children about the stork. We may regret doing so once they hit puberty, but aren't fairy tales the answer to all the tough questions?

Last year my son attended a Catholic preschool because it was acclaimed as the best in kindergarten preparation. After school one day, he began talking about cheeses. Sensing my confusion, he elaborated, “you know, baby Cheeses.” Just as I was preparing to correct him on the pronunciation, he looked at me with a puzzled expression and added, “Why would his mom and dad name him Cheeses?" I said that they didn't, technically, because his name was Jesus. We talked about Jesus being a very important person, and that Christmas is celebrated in honor of his birth. Then, at Easter, we talked about Cheeses dying on the cross. In May, on the way to his preschool graduation, he informed us that the ceremony would take place in Cheeses' house. The poor kid just didn't get it. In any case, I freely discuss these issues with my kids, but introduce the information in a historical context to avoid endorsing biblical stories as truth.

After my grandparents died last year, my daughter inquired about death and Heaven. I conveyed that many people truly believe we go to Heaven after we die, although no one can report the accuracy since the only ones who know are dead. I was slightly more gentle in my delivery, but she is very logical and was satisfied with that. Imagine, a child being satisfied with the truth! If, when my kids are grown, they choose religious faith as an adult, it will be of their own accord and not because they were brainwashed. Likewise, it is their prerogative if they prefer to view the world as a scientific masterpiece. I see blind faith as not only unadulterated acceptance, but also a lack of vision to the world's realm of possibilities.

I genuinely feel that I would be doing my children a great disservice if I instilled unilateral thoughts into their minds, for it would consequently hinder their infinite potential.